It’s 12:59 a.m. on a Tuesday morning, and I have a lot on my mind. So even though I might hate myself in the morning, I decided to turn to my blog (since it’s meant for this exact type of thing).
This weekend, I spent a lot of time crying. While I was hurt by actions and words (I don’t want to get into the incident), I was most hurt when I realized that someone I cared about is not the person I knew.
I wanted to write this to remind myself what I’m focusing on: being a better me and helping my audience realize that they are not alone.
With that thought in mind, here are my personal reminders.
- I am strong. I put up with a lot this semester and I am not going to let a few stupid boys who think it is funny to bully people bring me down.
- I am loved. While someone I loved was the one doing the breaking, I also had an overwhelming amount of people ask if I was okay and take my side. I can’t even say how grateful I am.
- I am not perfect. I have made mistakes, but I will own them and wear them. People cannot use my mistakes against me because I have made peace. No one will be perfect and I have/will never intentionally try to hurt anyone. Those who hurt with intention do not deserve the time of day.
- You are who you surround yourself with, and I chose my people correctly. I am not perfect and neither are my friends or family, but they are fierce and kind and have good intentions and that is what matters to me.
- You can care about someone so much it hurts, but they may refuse to return the favor. I’ve hurt for eight months, and while I’ve made my mistakes (refer to number 3), I have tried my hardest to always do the right thing. I love someone who seems incapable of loving me back, and I have paid for it. I need to put myself first.
- People change. I like to believe that I have become stronger mentally (and physically. Like seriously….I work out now). Not only have I become stronger, but I have found my people, sharpened my wit, and found a new confidence that I am thrilled to feel after so many years. I’ve changed, but others don’t actually change for the better. I may have really liked the person I once knew, but they aren’t there anymore. They have changed. I have to accept that.
- Nothing they say will justify their actions for hurting you. Stop making excuses for them. If you must take responsibility for your actions, they must do the same for theirs.
- Some people are truly just assholes. They won’t change and they thrive off of hurting others. Accept it.
- Be kind. With people willing to tear someone down at any chance they get, the world needs kindness. It’s hard because people are awful, but being kind will always win in the end.
I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense because I’m exhausted. But to be honest, it felt great to center my thoughts.
For those of you with negativity in your life that just doesn’t seem to cease, you are better than your situation and the people that keep bringing you down.
These may be reminders for me, but hopefully, they helped some of you realize how great you really are.