Growing Up: Owning Up To Your Actions

Growing up sucks.

Not only do you have to pay bills, but you also have to start “acting” like an adult.

Becoming an adult is a slow learning process… but you get by with a little help from your friends. Why not share some of my (limited) knowledge with you? I mean, we’re friends, right?

Well in my short experience, I have found one of the most important aspects of “adulting” to be accepting responsibility for your actions.

People are people, and sometimes people do shitty things. Even the nicest people can make a mistake.

But it is not your mistakes that matter, it’s how you acknowledge and react to your mistake that will set you apart from the rest.


People will have more respect for you if you acknowledge you made a mistake and apologize.

Let’s be clear though – taking responsibility for your actions does not make everything better, and it does not automatically earn you forgiveness. What it will do is hopefully make it easier for someone to forgive you, and easier for you to forgive yourself (which is probably the most important).

My first experience with owning my actions came when I was 14.

I was an assistant teacher at my dance studio but I was also in track. I missed one of the dance classes I helped teach because I thought I could make it back in time after my race.

Moral of the story is I didn’t make it back, I didn’t have someone to cover my class, and my teacher (and boss) was furious.

I was terrified of her… and the easy thing would be to blame it on my track coach or lie and say that none of the other girls could cover my class, but I didn’t.

I immediately went up to my teacher and told her that it was MY fault. I made a mistake and I was sincerely sorry.

She accepted my apology and said she loved that I did not make excuses. (And I was eternally grateful she didn’t skin me alive right then and there.)

I decided to write this post because recently, I said a few mean things out of anger about someone that I care about.

Okay… I did not just say them. I tweeted them…stupid social media.

I had already felt bad about the possibility that they could see the tweets (they were on private), but eventually, they did see them and I felt worse.

While this person had hurt me before and I was still upset, I knew that what I had done was wrong.I had no intention of hurting this person and  I could not take back what I said. All I could do was confront this person to own up and apologize.

I had made a mistake and I knew it.

I put the situation in this person’s hands by taking the blame. I may have been mad, but it was still me who acted.

One mistake or action does not define you. Being hurt does not justify your actions.

That person’s opinion of me may have changed, but I know who I am. I know that I never meant to hurt them and that this mistake does not make me a terrible person.

I can only hope they forgive me.

Learn your lessons and own your actions.

Have fun growing up.

Torri Natalia